WARNING- LONG POST WITH NO PHOTOS. However, this is an incredibly important post to me. I hope you will stick it out and read until the end. Your dreams may depend on it! 🙂
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Although my passion is designing, I think it’s my calling in life to encourage others to find and pursue their dreams. Periodically, I try to use this blog to be that place where others can come for an inspiring quote, an encouraging word, and hopefully proof that you really can achieve whatever it is you put your mind to. So, today I want to talk about dreaming and hopefully help someone out there who feels like they’re just floating through life.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized not everybody has a dream. I knew that Tim had a hard time figuring out what he was passionate about, but I thought he was one of the minority. I think I may be figuring out however, that Tim used to be part of the majority. And to be very honest, it makes me incredibly sad. Knowing what your purpose is in this life is essential, not only for yourself, but for those that you are supposed to touch during your time here.
I feel like I have identified three main reasons people can’t pinpoint their passions/dreams:
1. People don’t know themselves.
2. People don’t believe big dreams come true- at least not for them.
3. People think they are working hard when really their efforts are half hearted.
So, let’s break these reasons down.
People don’t know themselves.
Identifying your passions can be difficult if you don’t happen to love something that’s mainstream. I was lucky because basketball is a pretty popular sport to try out at a young age. I figured out that I loved it and committed to it quickly. Designing however was a different story.
Creative outlets weren’t really something my family pursued when I was younger. It was only in college, when I became obsessed with HGTV, did I realize that I might enjoy a creative career. I contemplated and tried a few things- photography, jewelry making, painting, ect. Although I enjoyed these things in moderation, I figured out that I would not want to pursue these things as a career.
Then came interior design. As I watched shows on HGTV, I became inspired to the point of actually trying some skills out. I found a few furniture pieces out by the curb and brought them home to refurbish. Through the process of redoing a couple of pieces, I realized I found great joy in turning something old, beat up, and forgotten into something functional and beautiful. Soon after I decided to take on spaces- transforming my apartment room by room. From there, my love for design blossomed I knew I had found my passion. My point here is that you have to try things to figure out what you love. You have to be willing to put in some effort to find what interests you, what brings you to life!
Here’s the thing I’ve figured out, when you are pursuing a dream with enormous energy, passion, and heart- the only way to keep your eye on the prize is to know without a shadow of a doubt that what you are going after is what you are made to do. And here’s where I go all “spiritual” on you. Pray about it. I’m not kidding. Pray about it!!! If you really want to know what you were made to do, ask the one who made you!
People don’t believe big dreams come true- at least not for them.
Ever since I was a little kid I remember having goals or dreams. I think dreaming was instilled in me by my parents. I was so lucky to grow up in a home where my parents preached “anything is possible if you believe and work incredibly hard!” I’ve come to learn that many people don’t grow up in a home where their parents encourage dreaming nor do their parents instill confidence that they can achieve anything. I think many parents project their own fears of failure on their children and instead of encouraging them to go after the impossible, they push their children towards more “manageable” goals. One thing I know for sure, having a person in your life who truly believes in your abilities is invaluable, but a belief in yourself is essential.
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So, how do you develop confidence? How do you start to believe that you can achieve anything? Here’s what I propose.
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Start with small goals. They can be related to your ultimate goal or completely separate. Whether it’s redoing a piece of furniture with a flawless paint job or running a mile in under 7 minutes. . . when you achieve something you thought of as incredibly difficult, you will see your confidence start to rise. And with each little victory, you will allow yourself to dream bigger and bigger.
I can’t stress how important I think this small goals are. Let me give you an example from my own life. I started playing basketball in 3rd grade. Never having paid attention to the sport before (except for one snapshot in my memory of Michael Jordan dunking) I was as terrible as every other girl starting out. Soon though I felt the desire to become better. I would come home from practice and do my basketball homework. It started out with 100 dribbles with my right hand and 100 dribbles with my left hand. Soon I began to challenge myself- I had to make 10 layups before I could leave the gym after practice, then I had to practice on my own in the heat of summer at least an hour a day. Then, I needed to be in better shape than my opponent to beat them, so I ran 2 miles a day on top of my basketball workouts. Every goal I achieved and every minute of work I put in gave me confidence. Confidence, true confidence only comes with hard work, which brings me to my next point.
People think they are working hard when really their efforts are half hearted.
Of course it takes so much more than just believing. . . oh yes, it takes work. And not the type of work where you go through the motions or do something just to check it off your list. No, achieving your grandest dream takes an all out focus and steadfast perseverance. It is hard. And that’s why most people don’t achieve dreams or even dare to think about them.
You remember that I told you my parents told me “anything was possible.” Do you remember the words that proceeded that phrase? “If you believe” (which we’ve covered) and if you “work incredibly hard.”
Once again I was so lucky to have parents that not only said these things, but helped me to stay committed to my chosen goals. I would often get the question, “What did you do today?” which I knew was in reference to achieving my goals. Sometimes I got mad and sometimes I felt pressured, but when I look back I am so so thankful that my parents knew that I had a goal and they held me accountable to that. They preached persistence and perseverance. I remember countless pep talks that my dad would give me not just when I was having a hard time but also when I was doing well. He would say things like, “I’ve never seen anyone work as hard as you.” and “If you keep this up, you will achieve your dreams.” I cherish those talks so much because they made me feel so validated and after my dad spoke, I knew all the hard work would one day be worth it. Not everyone is lucky enough to have that person in their life that believes in them. If you don’t, I hope that I could be your cheerleader. Keep going, work harder, you can do this! It’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it.
You remember my basketball “homework?” Well, in my high school career, that turned into 2 hours of individual work (running, shooting, ball handling, working on new moves) after my team practice. When I say hard work, I mean exhausting, intense, focused, hard work.
After I played professional basketball for a season, I decided it was time to hang up the sneakers. I decided that designing and more specifically a design television show was my new goal. I had a hard time figuring out how to translate the work ethic I developed in basketball to design. Pushing my body physically was natural but designing required a different type of work. But the same idea still applied. I set goals: start a blog, learn skills, create a website, network, figure out how to take good pictures, practice paint techniques, ect. And little by little I started to gain confidence in my design skills. My efforts became intensely focused on my new dream.
When you read this, it may sound daunting, but it’s the reality of what’s required to achieve crazy, unimaginable, way out there type of dreams. The only thing that separates you from the Michael Jordan’s, the Oprah Winfrey’s, and the Dolly Parton’s of the world is confidence and incredibly hard work. We can achieve our grandest dreams! I believe it and I plan on doing it, won’t you join me!?
So, here’s the challenge-
Take some time, sit down, and really think about your what it is you want to accomplish in this life. You may need to start with something small, like losing 20 lbs. I know some of you look at that and think, “20 lbs!!! That’s no small goal!” But for how big I hope that you will dream, 20 lbs is just the beginning. Of course, you will have failures because we all do. When you have those failures, you may feel crushed and you may start to think you were stupid for going after such crazy ideals. But here’s what will propel you on. . . the deep seated knowledge that you were called to this purpose and to give up on it would be forsaking the whole reason you were put on this earth.
So, let’s start dreaming!!!!
Good post.
I agree with you on many points but I feel like there is too much pressure now to not only be successful but also LOVE it – which is just not practical for a huge percentage of the people. Not everyone is given the same opportunities as us – some people have bad situations thrust upon them and dealing with those is more important than following your passions. In other words, I think there are people who know their passion but opt for another road for perfectly valid reasons and they shouldn’t be made to feel as if they are somehow less amazing than someone who does have the opportunity to pursue their dreams.
I’ll get off the soapbox now. 🙂
Hey Mrs. Limestone,
For me it’s not about the success or about being amazing- it’s about living out what you were made to do and touching others. I feel like when we are doing what we are created for, life is joyful and we are able to reach out to others. When we have chosen to do something that makes us miserable every day of our life, the chances of touching others is slim.
I have to disagree, I think most people don’t go after their passions because of the reasons I listed, not because of their situations. Of course, there might be situations (caring for sick family members, ect) that call for focus to divert for a while and rightly so, but I don’t think that is a huge percentage. It all goes back to believing that the dream you are going after is not only for you, but for those around you as well.
PS- planning on posting about the closet series tomorrow. 🙂
WOW! Kara! This is such a great post! I love the thought and inspiration behind it! Just what we all need no matter our circumstance! You are awesome!
Thank you Kara, I needed that today! I’m trying to figure out exacty what my dream is – and then the best steps to make it happen. And always with prayer involved! What GOD wants me to do that will glorify Him. Because ultimately that’s what life is all about – glorifying and praising HIM!
This is such an awesome post! I love the inspiration flowing out of it. I think dreaming is important everywhere, and that you should have as many dreams as possible. In the end knowing and completing what you are most passionate about IS what life is all about!
Great Post! Thanks! I wish I had somebody to give me pep talks everyday…I’m 36 and I’m still floating (that’s the exact word I too!) through life.
I love your style!!!
p.S: I found your blog via Megan @ meganbrookehandmadeblog.com
Nat.
Great article! Thank you for letting us know that we are not alone on our journey in life.
Um, maybe you should add motivational speaker to your list of goals because you seem to have a gift for it. I am so serious. Your message was so clear and uplifting. I felt like you were talking to me and me only. Thank you for this great post.
Great post, Kara. I agree with you that so many people do not have a dream…or it is buried so deeply that they can’t find it! A dream isn’t a fantasy…it is something that is attainable with hard work {why does hard work scare people?}. I have enjoyed watching your journey as you have pursued your dreams. I keep my dream in front of me every day and work towards it. I feel like a different person now that I’ve discovered it. It gives me purpose. It took me a while to figure out what my dream is…and I did a lot of praying! Also, I asked people who knew me well to help me find my strengths. Sometimes we have to search for our passion and dream in life…but when we find it, it changes everything!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
<3 Emily
That was wonderful! I am sitting in a condo with my two small children asleep in their shared tiny room and my basketball-loving husband on the couch across from me. We are in the process of pursuing the biggest dream of our lives, and tonight as we are sitting here talking about a MAJOR decision that will either end in tons of hard work and reaching many people with an authentic community… or… well, “failure.” So my phone had the notification of this post and I just read it aloud. Please pray from your corner of the world for our little BIG DREAM family. Someday I would LOVE to tell you and Tim all about Cre8… who knows? Perhaps someday 🙂 Thank you for this obedient post tonight.
Kara, this is an amazing post. I think people tend to start giving up on dreams as they get older. That has been the case with me. As I read this, I thought about a goal, a dream I have been working on for years. There are others floating around in my head, but this one (PERMANENTLY losing my weight and improving my fitness level) is foundational to all the others. I had not given up but your post has encouraged me to go after it with even more determination and hard work. When it is done (or maybe along the way) I will go after another. I am copying this post and posting it on my computer desktop so I can reread it frequently as encouragement. You are a huge blessing to me and I am sure many others!
BTW – don’t know if you saw it, but as I was sending that post, my husband JUMPED off the couch over a Blake Griffin dunk. WOWZERS! Yeah, when people are doing what they are made to do… the results CAN be quite super-heroic! “Dunk you very much!” 🙂
Thanks Lindsey, I am so happy you enjoyed the post! I think you’re right, we all can use a pep talk. I would take one every day if I could get it! 🙂 I can’t wait to see your studio you’re working on! I think studio spaces are so inspiring because you really get a sense of the person who works there. Thanks again Lindsey!
Jill! I’m so happy that I was able to provide you with some encouragement right when you needed it! God is good! 🙂 I know He will reveal his will for your life. I can’t wait to hear what He tells you! 🙂
Miki, I love your spirit! I can just imagine your excited voice saying the words above. Thanks for commenting! You are the type of person that I want to surround myself with! Also, your Save the Date is adorable and I love the idea of making it a video!
PS-Can I come to your wedding?! Just seeing you makes me think it is going to be super cute!!! 🙂
Hey Nat,
I often reply my dad’s words in my head when I am trying to push through a hard time or celebrating a good time. I also like to surround myself with inspiring stories to keep me motivated and dreaming. For example I watch TV shows like “The Biggest Loser, American Idol, and Project Runway – there all stories of people working incredibly hard to achieve their dreams. I also listen to corny but encouraging music. Seeing or hearing other people moving towards their dreams helps me to keep going as well. I know you can find your purpose/ your dream- just start searching and trying things! Oh and remember to pray!!!
Absolutely! Together we can encourage each other to achieve our dreams!
Well thank you Micahcha. 🙂 I am so happy to hear this post spoke to you. It is my desire to help others realize their dreams and to fight for them! 🙂 So get it, whatever your dream is you can make it happen!
Hey Emily! I feel like we are definitely on the same page. : ) I love hearing you are “keeping your dream in front of you and working towards it every day!” That is the key- focus! I know we’ve talked a little about your goals before, but what have you settled on as your ultimate goal? I’d love to know!
PS- can’t wait to hear more about this hitch hiker!
Ami, it does my heart so good to hear that the Lord is using to post to reach specific people who need to hear it right now. I will absolutely pray for your family! The great thing about knowing when God has called you to something is the peace in realizing if he has called you to do it, then He will pave a path. I don’t think he always guarantees success (from a worldly point of view) but if we are faithful to answer His calling, we have succeeded indeed- no matter the outcome! I read your intro to Cre8 and it makes me excited. Dreams are meant to be LIVED OUT and I love that the focus of your dream is to reach others! Full speed ahead Ami! I’m so excited for you, your family, and the people you will reach!!
PS- Living with a basketball lover myself, I know exactly what that leap off the couch looks like! 🙂 haha
Hey Mrs. Georgia! That’s what I love to hear! You can do this, you can achieve your fitness goals! Different people respond to different workout plans, but I recommend trying out a Crossfit. It is challenging, but it’s a lot of fun too and you get to meet great people! Tim and I go to Crossfit Jenks, but there are tons in this area, so you should check them out! 🙂 My Dad just recently started to tackle his own fitness goals via Crossfit and he’s doing great (down 5 lbs in a month!). When things get tough, remember the confidence and satisfaction you will gain along your journey is worth the pain and the hard times. Can’t wait to see where you are in a couple of months! 🙂
Hey Kara, I saw you on Nate and started following your blog. I love this post 🙂 it reminds me of a sermon series at my church about living differently “because normal isn’t working.” My husband and I also share a passion for design so I loved seeing a husband and wife working together. We are working on starting our own side business doing home redecorating. It’s hard to know where to start but we know our end goal is to “do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” thanks for this post, it was motivating!!
http://Www.jlhappyhome.weebly.com
Thanks for the encouraging post Kara! Just what I needed to hear to keep trucking along towards my dream job. I started reading 48 days to the work you love and can’t wait to start setting goals and towards towards and discovering my dreams!
THANK YOU!!! (If you ever come to High Point NC for furniture market… we’d love to meet you guys!)
Kara! Thank you for your reply! I tried to reply under you but it’s not letting me comment there. Anyways I just wanted to say thanks for stopping by my blog 🙂 That means a lot!
Hey Jessica! It sounds like God is really speaking to you and your husband about following your dreams! I’m so excited to see where he leads you! Tim and I like to remember that God paves our path, but that doesn’t mean we sit back and wait for him to just open a door. Tim and I joke that we pound on every door we see, if it doesn’t open we move on to the next one. But we always knock! 🙂 Working with your spouse is a challenge at times, but it is such a blessing! You will love it! After looking at your site, it looks like you’ve already done a lot to get going on your dreams! Way to go! I wrote a post about making a career out of design- if you’re interested in reading it, here’s the link!- http://karapaslaydesigns.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-guide-to-taking-plunge-into-interior.html
Please keep us updated on your progress, we love hearing about others chasing their dreams- it keeps us going as well! 🙂
That’s awesome Megan! Take steps every day, even if they’re tiny steps, just keep moving forward! I can’t wait to hear how you’re dreams start to develop! Please keep us updated on your adventures! You can do it!!
Oh sure Lindsey! I love your graphics by the way!
Stoppppp it! You’re making me blush 😉 I appreciate that so much! I did it myself (yay!) I don’t have any kind of design experience so I just dabbled around myself hoping to make it work.
I loved that post! It was very helpful!! I can’t wait to watch your show! 🙂
Excellent post Kara! Dreams. Something we all need to have. To seek out, pursue with passion, and work hard to fulfill. For some of us, it can seem harder than it ought to. I recently heard a friend, who is a mom like me, talk about her situation as if it was necessary, as a “good” mom, to set her needs and desires aside and focus all energy and resources on her children. It broke my heart. Obviously, parenthood requires some sacrifice and devotion, but ultimately, as I told my friend, it is better for your kids to have a mom who is engaged in her own life and pursuing her own talents or dreams. Achievement doesn’t have to equal neglect. Sadly, many moms, including me, have struggled with this balance. I confess, that I had years when I couldn’t think much beyond diapers and laundry. I have definitely had times when I had no idea what my own dreams might be. I knew what they once were, but it was hard to see how that could fit in with my current role. I still haven’t figured it all out, but I am grateful for your encouragement to find a dream and work towards it. It has been fun to start to see old dreams merging with new over the last year in my life, and I am excited about what God has for my future. Keep spreading the “go-for-it” message! Your confidence and especially your hard work are an inspiration!
This is great Kara. I just discovered your website/blog yesterday via Pinterest and im hooked already! As a fellow Believer I truly appreciate you sharing your faith on here. Thanks for the encouragement! Best of luck in your endeavors.
Man, I am happy I decided to read this post. I started checking in on your blog due to your creativity. Now add to that list, encouragement! You inspire me. I am a fan of Anthropologie. I often spend most of my time looking at the amazing creations over the clothing. Keep up the good work! If only I lived closer, I would really enjoy meeting you!
“If you really want to know what you were made to do, ask the one who made you!” I LOVE that! Ironically, or luckily rather, I stumbled onto your site today while researching legal stuff, an ad for a chair caught my eye I clicked on it and here I am. I am 38 years old. I have been married for 20 years, we have a 19 year old daughter, Amberlie (pre-med at LSUS) and a 17 year old daughter, Ashlie (hs junior) I came from a very bad childhood and went into foster care at 14, a couple of months after my husband and I started “dating” (25 years together). I HAD very low self esteem and was extremely shy for a long time. My husband is so WONDERFUL, he has completely changed me. It took a while but finally about ten years ago, I came out of my shell. In 2002, I earned my notary commission, which is not so easy in Louisiana. I earned my Realtor License in 2010 and when I gave it up this past April, I felt like a total failure. Now that Shreveport is the home of a new law school,(supposed to open next year) I have decided to earn my bachelor degree so I can apply to law school. I feel like at my age I should already be a well established professional with a productive career. I am so scared that I will not make it into law school or even worse, make it, pass the bar but fail at being an attorney and I am not getting any younger. I cannot tell you how inspiring you are! Everything single topic you touch is as if you are directing it to me. I also LOVE decorating, restoring, painting, and anything creative. I am an hgtv addict as well. I am now in a way torn between law school and decor. You are AMAZING at what you do and am I correct here, you don’t have any formal design training? I know you went to college but not for design, right? You have a God given talent. I do know that design and decor are totally different, design does require a degree but I assumed one had to have a degree or at least certificate to achieve your level of success. Did you just start doing it, (after self study) and then start a portfolio? How did you become so popular, besides your adorable voice and spunky personality? I do believe God sent me to your site for a reason and I am so glad he did!