Have you heard of Cross Fit? If you haven’t you should check it out. I’ll get back to that later because it is not the most important part of this post.
The important part of this post is when I tell you that you should love your body. So often I hear women talk about their bodies in a negative way. At the risk of being totally unrelatable, I don’t really struggle with that. Before you start to hate me, let me tell you my story.
A long time ago (in 5th grade) I remember being very concerned about my body and as a result I struggled with anorexia for about a year. It all started when a girl at school called me “Porky” because I ate everyone’s leftovers at lunch (and probably also because I was a little pudgy). After that, I found one of my mom’s workout tapes and began doing it multiple times a day while only eating canned vegetables.
I think this issue could have lasted a lot longer but something happened. The ONLY thing that I wanted to do since the 3rd grade was to play Division 1 basketball and it just so happened that when I attended a Lady Razorback basketball game that winter, there was an article in the program that basically said “You can’t have the perfect body and still be the best basketball player.” Your body has to have fuel/food to be at its best. My mindset instantly changed and I was “healed.” Yes, I loved basketball that much.
I haven’t struggled with body image issues since that point. And believe me, I know that I don’t have the “perfect” body or a very womanly body, but I do love my body. I love it because I push it. My body can do things most bodies can’t. My thighs are big, but they are big because they are strong. When I buy jeans, the waist will be 2 inches too big, while my thighs are fighting to breathe. đ I have no boobs, but I’ve got abs. I’ve got a very muscular body, which I know some women would never want, but I’m proud of it. I am proud because it shows all of the hard work I put in every day. I am proud because I am not just a skinny girl, I am an able girl. I love my husband and I need him in many ways, but if the pickle jar lid is stuck, I can get it off myself! đ I am capable and independent! That is why I love my body.
You should love your body too! I truly believe that working out gives you an incredible confidence (you see it on Biggest Loser all the time) that you don’t get from just being skinny. For that reason I totally recommend starting a workout regimen. But, even if you don’t go join a gym right away, you have to learn to love your body. That C-section scar, those curves, your freckles- they are beautiful- so own them!
Well, now that the most important part is over I am totally going to plug Cross Fit. Cross Fit is a way of working out that totally rocks! Tim and I started doing Cross Fit two years ago and we have absolutely loved it. You go to a class and work out with a group while trainers oversee things. The workout is different every day and scalable for people of all fitness levels. You do everything from weight lifting, body weight exercises, gymnastic type exercises, running, and more. If you haven’t gathered it yet, I am super competitive and I love Cross Fit because it provides an avenue for me to compete. I am always trying to be first in the workouts. The other thing I love is that because you work out with others, you start to develop a very team-like atmosphere (which I miss so much from my basketball days). If you’re not competitive, don’t worry- it’s all about challenging yourself. Anyway, there are Cross Fits all over the country and you should look into joining one! They are a little more expensive than some gyms, but Tim and I find that it means we don’t miss workouts! We want to make sure to get our money’s worth! đ (Tim and I go to 918 Cross Fit by the way.)
Tim didn’t want me to put any photos of him, but I am sneaking this one in. đ Shhhh! Don’t tell!
PS- I still eat everyone’s leftovers. . . at breakfast, lunch, and dinner! đ
PSS- If you think posting these pictures is weird or distasteful- I’m sorry. My goal is to help other woman find confidence by displaying and talking about my own. In fact I think you should all write a blog post (or at least leave a comment) about what you love about your amazing bodies! You are beautiful!
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This post was brought to you by Blogher and Folgers Coffee. Â Folgers Coffee is dedicated to creating a platform where inspiring stories can encourage our online community. Â They are calling this platform, “The Best Part.”
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You GO, Girl!
I loved this post! I never had body issues through high school, but got entangled in an abusive relationship in college that focused on my appearance and it nearly destroyed me. It certainly did a number on my confidence, and he had me starve myself into weakness. It was awful. It took me four years (and the abuse turning physical) for me to leave, and I cannot, just cannot express how amazing it was to love my body again. Reading this post brought all those amazing emotions back to me. And now I want to go join the local crossfit gym đ
Kara – I love how real you are! I love that you love your body! I love that you want to be an inspiration!!! I love your blog and apsire to be more like you!!! Great work, great person!!! Thanks for being an example of doing and being the best version of yourself!!! I am making a promise to myself to do the same!!!
I’ll be real: I tend to hate posts that say “love your body” coming from someone with a great body; its like when gorgeous, wealthy celebrities gush that “everyone is beautiful in her own way”. I have three kids and I’m not yet thirty; I haven’t had a body I “loved” since before my first kid was born, and even then I didn’t appreciate it. Now, I love what my body has done (birthing kids and breastfeeding is no joke) but I don’t love how it looks– saggy boobs, belly pooch, stretch marks, and thighs that are jiggly– or that I’m not strong and have no stamina. I typically read these posts and want to curl up in a ball and die. But, I want you to know, this post was the exception. I read it and felt inspired by your strength. True that you haven’t struggled with your body image since pre-puberty, which is a whole different experience than almost every woman who has ever struggled with weight or fitness. But I love that your own your strength and that you are independent and capable and proud of it! I’ve recently joined a gym and my goal is not to be thin. Its to be strong. I want more energy, more stamina, and more strength by my 30th birthday than I’ve ever had before. Thanks for the encouragement!
Kara, thank you for this post. Since I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you and working with you, one of the things that struck me about you was your passion and your love of pushing yourself and competing.
I’m not that way. Competing, even just pushing myself to be better, doesn’t work for me. There are lots of reasons for this. Don’t worry about me, because I’m getting therapy to work through them.
I bring this up because I think you are saying there are lots of ways to love your body. Here’s something incredible that happened to me this summer that helped me love mine:
My husband and two friends were hanging out on a lake with only a paddleboard and some beer to entertain us. None of us had ever been on a paddleboard before. Being the oldest and maybe wimpiest of the four of us, I hung back.
Matt the skateboarder tried first. He figured his skateboarding skills would easily translate to the paddleboard. He couldn’t do it.
His wife tried next. She’s one of those people who can do anything. She can sing karaoke. She can play the trumpet. She can power through. She got up once, but not for long.
Then my husband tried. He is super competitive and was raised in a family that wins. Thatâs just what they do. He flailed around, stood up, made it look super fun, made us all laugh with his crazy pratfall.
I’d been watching them all, noticing that they were being so forceful and aggressive when, to me, this looked like something where you don’t fight the water, rather you go slow and go with the flow–kind of a whole yoga zen sort of thing. And then that part of me that so often keeps me from trying started playing the same old things in my head, âIf they canât do this, how could you? Youâll look like a fool. You are older than them. â
But then the new part of me spoke up, the part of me who has been slowly emerging in the past two years, the me who at age 45 started a brand new career, the one sheâs always wanted, the part of me who wants to take chances and not be limited by her past notions of who she is and what she can do.
They were surprised when I said Iâd like to try it. I mumbled something about how I know I wonât be able to do it if THEY couldnât do it, but I need to try. Plus I added, it will give you all something to laugh about later. They hollered advice and be carefuls from the dock.
But then, it was just me and the water and this vision that I could do this. âGetting on is the hardest part,â they shouted. âYou have to go fast,â I heard as I slowly and quite easily came to a kneeling position on the board. I sat in frog position for a while, just breathing deeply, just feeling the pulsing of the water.
I stood up. I raised the paddle above my head victoriously before placing it in the water and stroking first on the right then on the left. Right left right left right leftâŚ
Then I heard cheering. I looked towards the dock to smile at my friends, but they were so far away. The cheers were coming from a group on a pontoon boat far from the dock. Theyâd been watching us the whole time.
I was far from shore and suddenly sucked out of my âI can do thisâ trance. The old me said I was screwed. This was beginners luck. How would I get back to shore against the current? I sat down on the board and started imagining how embarrassing it was going to be when these drunken pontooners had to pull me out of the water and get me back to shore. The girls on boat with their tans and their bikinis would be relieved when they saw how my new Esther Williams retro one piece swimsuit that had made me look cute and shapely from a distance couldnât hide the cellulite on the back of my legs once you saw me up close. This would be yet another epic Brenda meltdown caused by self-induced pressure and crippling self-doubt.
They were close enough now to start talking to me. I was trying to put on a smile and find that self-deprecating joker Brenda who deals with these situations for me. She said,âI hope you guys have enough beer to share with me, cause I may be stuck out here for awhile.â They said they had enough beer and I was welcome to join them, but wow, was this my first time? Because Iâve totally got it down. Going back will be easier. You got this.
And you know what? I do have this. I have this every single day. I will try to remember to channel it and use it and make it my default mode.
I thanked them, stood up and paddled back towards the dock. As I got closer and more cocky, I started to plan how Iâd effortlessly glide right up to the dock and step off like it was no big deal at all. But then I checked myself. There was still a chance to make this an epic Brenda fail by falling headfirst into the dock, getting a concussion and negating this whole victory. I got off the board while still in the water and somewhat awkwardly drug it back to shore.
But still, Iâve got this.
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