Long Time No See

Long Time No See

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So we haven’t posted since Thursday. . .which makes Kara extremely antsy.  I will give you two chances to guess whose fault that is.  Nevermind, you don’t need them.  Yes, it is my fault.

We have had this video shoot on the schedule for at least a month and were given a lot more lead time for props and set items than normal, but I still stayed up all night last night, because instead of working on it last week (when I should have been and was supposed to be working on it), I was watching Crossfit Regionals and looking at Facebook, Craigslist, and ESPN. (Congratulations to our Crossfit Gym, Crossfit Jenks, they weren’t procrastinating this weekend.  They were busy winning First Place in the North Central Regional!!)

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Normally my procrastination/laziness doesn’t prevent Kara from making her daily post, but she was busy tracking down stuff and creating items I had taken responsibility for and last night all the frustration came to a head.  It wasn’t a fun night.  It wasn’t our first or even worst fight and for sure won’t be our last, but it definitely could have been avoided if I would have just done the things I said I would do, when I said I would do them.  (I obviously can’t take much of the credit, but the set we have been working on turned out great.  We loved that one of the shows themes was similar to our design philosophy of using accessories and objects to help tell your story)

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Kara and I always say that we make a great team, because we are so different in many ways and have complementary strengths and weaknesses.  One of Kara’s greatest strengths and most attractive qualities is her will power and self discipline.  She used to turn me down for dates, because she needed to get her workout in for the day.  I can’t say she is the only girl who has used this excuse to turn me down, but I think she is the only one who was being honest.  Staying true to the irony of our relationship, my biggest weakness is procrastination or laziness.

I have achieved some success in areas of my life that I am certainly proud of, but I am a bit ashamed to admit that I don’t think I have come any where close to reaching my true potential or maximizing my capabilities.  I have spent a good amount of time (most likely while procrastinating) trying to figure out why I do this.  The best answer I have come up with is that I don’t want to face the reality or for others to see that there maybe certain things that I am incapable of doing.  I would rather not give my absolute best effort in the case things don’t go my way and allow myself the excuse that I could have done ____, if I really tried or really wanted to.

Some of you may be thinking, “Well you just need a reality check to gain an accurate sense of your true capabilities.”  I would say that I am acutely aware of my capabilities and thus limitations, but instead of this knowledge freeing me to pursue absolutely everything that I am capable of I think it causes me to question all of my efforts.  This idea is a little hard to explain, so let me share one of my favorite stories about Kara.

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Kara got in an argument/disagreement with a boy when she was in 9th grade because she REFUSED to say or admit that she would never be as good as Michael Jordan at basketball.  Where as I spend way too much time thinking and worrying about if I am capable, Kara and others like her spend all there energy and effort pushing and testing their limitations and boundaries.

Another wrinkle to this issue is that since I spend so much time comparing myself to others and judging other peoples efforts I am completely aware that these people exist and will be doing the same thing I do to others, to me.  I don’t like that and don’t want people to see or know if I do fail, so I just don’t try.

I was eating lunch with a couple of close friends this week and we were discussing one of their new business ventures.  We have spent a lot of time over the past couple of months discussing strategies and analyzing decisions and possibilities.  I know we have covered every possible scenario for his company, from bankruptcy to breaking Facebook’s IPO record, at least twice if not three times.  I finally said, “just go try something.  I don’t care if you don’t want to do what I think is best, just do something.”  I found myself getting uncharacteristically passionate in my encouragement and I realized it was because I was speaking to myself.

I don’t know how many different furniture designs I have come up with and spent countless hours refining in my head, but never end up building them, only to see the same design months later completed by someone else.  I can’t count the number of inventions I have told others about and never taken any meaningful steps toward pursuing them as an actual possible business venture.

So today I want to encourage all of you whose stories sound more like mine, of unrealized potential, than Kara’s, of unabashed dream chasing, to stop reading, thinking, discussing, analyzing, and/or worrying and just do something.  Take a first step and put a little bit on the line.  Invest real time or money into that idea or dream you have been weighing for so long.  Hold yourself accountable and force yourself to face the possibility of public failure by telling a friend or all of Facebook about a goal that you are working towards with a definite deadline or cutoff.  Decide not to pin another DIY project until you complete one already on your Pinterest.  Instead of buying another book, take a hands on class that will force you to start the actual process of honing your skills instead of devising the perfect plan of how you will develop your skills.  Make it happen.

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Quote found here.

If I came of harsh, it’s because it is what I needed to hear.  I don’t like for people to get mad at me or get in my face, but it is probably what motivates me the best.  So, let’s make a deal- I’ll take a step if you take a step. Any takers?

This article has 8 comments

  1. Dana Frieling

    Our posts echoed each other today, Tim! My husband and I were discussing how ‘lazy’ our daughter appears but your post just made me realize it’s not laziness at all…it’s fear of failure. Now, how do you make a 10 y.o. understand this concept? ummm…

    By the way, Just Do It…your furniture designs rock!

  2. mary

    I think you need to stop being so harsh on yourself! Listen, it takes all kinds to make the world go ’round and we need people to just take it easy and breathe in the relaxation just as much as we need people to run around challenging deadlines. If you can find a way to be both at various times you’ll lead the happiest life.
    And if a missed blog post here or there is worst thing that happens to you in your day or week, then we all know you’re leading a blessed life!

  3. Anonymous

    Sometimes it’s what we are most passionate about that makes us scared to try, but it only takes one step to change everything…keep moving.

  4. Anonymous

    thank you soo much. this is exactly the motivation and ispiration i’ve needed for some time. I know im fully capable of accomplishing soo much but i think i just keep looking for excuses not to try because it can be pretty scary. thanks soo much I love you guys!

  5. Lisa Johnson

    What a great post Tim! So much I can relate to here. I spent too much time in my younger years waiting for the moment when I could start living instead of living in the moment I had. I think perfectionism and procrastination frequently come together. Last night, I was having a long conversation with one of my teenage daughters who was flailing hwrself yet again for not accomplishing a goal and wasting time. She asked me, “When will I stop having to deal wth this tendency of mine.” I told her that it’s always going to be a battle for some of us, but I said exactly what you said, “just do something!” Quit analyzing your motives and introspecting yourself to death, and get busy with something. I’m going to ask her to read your post. Thanks for being real! Now, I’ve got to get moving and do something! 🙂

  6. Anonymous

    I like this post. Thanks to this, I WILL go out and buy canvases and paint. And then try to sell, it’s a challenge. I’ve avoided it thinking “Who but my Mom would like what I do?” What’s there to lose, if they don’t sell, I will have lots of art for my own walls, or gifts for Mom for years…JW

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